Smash: The Producers (2x13)

Smash has a problem. It is an over-dramatized mess. Most of the characters are uterally despicable people. So... the question is, WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING IT?! It's like crack! Or chocolate! Really, really, bad for you, but you keep coming back for more. I know that's not the most eloquent way to begin a review, but it's an accurate description of how I feel right now. Let's talk about this week's episode.

Bombshell is apparently doing awesome, and Ivy is busy promoting the hell out of it. Eileen and Agnes are going crazy trying to get Bombshell to sell enough to keep it open so it can be a contender for the Tony's. I'm normally not too interested in Eileen's storyline, but it wasn't too overbearing so it was fine this week. Also, apparently their promotions work, because they are selling more tickets by the end of the episode. Eileen also apparently has this nascent interest in Hit List, which I think is sort of weird, but I'll get to that whole part of the episode in a moment.

Ivy won't take Derek's phone calls, because she's pissed that he asked Karen out shortly before getting together with her. Nothing really happened this episode to further that plot, but I'm sure it will soon.

Then you have Tom and Julia. This was the best part of the episode and it was where the focus should have gone. But I'll get to that in a minute. Basically, they are quarreling about The Great Gatsby. Julia has started writing it as a play without Tom. She's working with Scott on it instead (side-bar, I think it's awesome that he has a Rent poster on his wall, given that he's the original Collins). Tom finds out and confronts Julia. He assumes that now that he wants in, she'll drop everything and work on it with him instead. I thought this was sort of an arrogant thing to assume, but I guess their partnership has meant so much to them in the past that he just thinks it's a given she'll keep working with him. And at first, it looks like Julia is going to cave. But, after thinking about it, she decides she's going to keep working on Gatsby by herself. Tom is an ass about it. I mean, seriously, Ivy is trying to interview them and they're being all passive aggressive, and then someone asks if they're still working together, and Julia says "of course we are" and Tom says "no. We're not."

Tears. Lots of tears. These two have the most compelling relationship on the show and I just don't want them to break up. I'm hoping that somehow this show ends with them being okay. It is all I want from Smash, please and thank you.

And now we'll switch over to where the focus of the episode actually was this week: Hit List. I am 1000% done with Jimmy right now. I mean, what an ass. What a terrible guy. He's being a big baby because Karen dumped him, and I guess I agree that Karen was pretty terrible to dump him in the first place, but honestly he is being such a baby and he's putting the show in jeopardy. 

Kyle is the most adorable part of the episode, here, because he defends Jimmy like no other, even though Jimmy is a terrible friend to him. I loved that he pointed out Karen's hypocrisy, and I loved that he's fighting to keep him around even though Derek and everyone else are done with him.

Sam is now Jimmy's understudy, which I find sort of odd, given how different they are. But Sam's voice is like melting butter so actually I'm okay with getting to hear him sing more. I just wonder what this will do to the public's view of Bombshell and Hit List. Another link between them!

Derek was a bit short tempered this week (when is he not) but actually in the best possible way. He is so done with Jimmy's crap. He has a bunch of producers coming to see the show, and he is not happy about dealing with a drugged up Jimmy. Jimmy is late for his call, he messes up some choreography a bit, but his biggest mistake is not being there to catch Karen when she falls. That was pretty inexcusable, and I was glad that everyone gave him crap for it.

And then, after being a douche the whole episode, he finds out he's being fired and he gets up in front of everyone and yells at Karen and Kyle - he even tells Kyle's boyfriend that he's been sleeping with Tom (by the way, that is so weird.) And then Kyle is all adorable and hurt but he decides he has to cut Jimmy off, so he drops his stuff off at Adam's house and then he walks away singing and THEN HE GETS HIT BY A BUS.

Okay, Smash writers. We need to have a talk. Do you realize that you have very few likable characters on your show? Do you realize that Kyle was one of them? Do you realize that killing Kyle is unnecessary and stupid and argggggh! On a better note, Kyle's voice is beautiful. I am now wondering why they haven't had him really sing before now, because he sounds amazing. I actually liked the montage at the end of the episode, right before the whole Kyle-gets-hit-by-a-bus thing. I mean, really? REALLY?!

My favorite moments from this part of the episode came when Kyle and Jimmy were being all friend-like, because it made it hurt that much more when they fought. What can I say, I'm a masochist.

I must admit that I've already seen the next episode as I write this review, so I know Kyle's fate. I am mad. Very very mad.

In terms of musical numbers - I enjoyed seeing parts of the "20th Century Fox Mambo" again, and I did really enjoy the two new numbers we got for Hit List. I still think the choreography is trying a little too hard to be edgy. It was so cheesy to hear the voice at the beginning announce that cell phone were alright, and the gimmick with the iPads was so silly. But the songs were fun, in a really campy sort of way. If I were going to go see a Broadway show I'd pick Bombshell over Hit List every time, but I can see the appeal of Hit List as well, I suppose.

I was annoyed at one other little thing - apparently the producers didn't like Hit List enough for it to transfer to Broadway. I would be totally fine with that, but their reasoning was beyond stupid. Apparently it's too edgy or cult-y for Broadway. Seriously? Think about some of the things that have been big Broadway hits. Rent, anyone? This just really bothered me and it seems like a cheap way to introduce more conflict.

And then we have the ending, with Karen and Derek going off to possibly have sex. No. No no no no no no no no no. Although they are both horrible and totally deserve each other. But just... NO.

I know that this review wasn't the most eloquent of things, but basically I have a lot of Smash feelings right now and I just can't be coherent. This show is dumb. But addicting. Onward to the next episode's review! There will be a lot of exclamation points and italics and capital letters, just so you're warned.

7/10