Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I'm Finding My Bliss (4x14)

Yep, another good episode. Who's surprised?

Cons:

This isn't actually a problem with the episode, but maybe a function of me not being able to get my head out of my ass, but I'm still finding it hard to wholeheartedly support the idea of Rebecca and Greg. Skylar Astin is doing a fantastic job, and whenever he's sharing scenes with other characters, I'm totally sold on this being Greg. But when he's with Rebecca, the energy and chemistry that they bring to the relationship just does not feel like a continuation of what they built back in Seasons One and Two. It's compelling in its own, way, but it feels like a separate thing.

I wish Valencia hadn't given Beth an ultimatum like that, but I suppose we'll wait and see what the fallout is in the next few episodes. I really should reserved judgment, and I thought Valencia had a fascinating journey in this episode, but I'm a little bit frustrated at the idea of Valencia and Beth's relationship ending in these last few episodes. We'll have to see what happens.

Pros:

Paula getting amazing job offers is so great! I'm genuinely happy for her. I saw someone else review this show and point out that in a less nuanced version of this same story, Paula would have seriously considered staying put because of her friendship with Darryl. Then, Darryl would have the realization about letting Paula go, and only with his blessing would Paula agree that it was time to move on. But no. Paula has worked very hard to achieve her dream, and here in this moment she knows that she's worth it. Of course she feels bad about hurting Darryl and leaving behind a place where she's worked for so long, but that doesn't mean she'd ever consider putting Darryl ahead of herself. That's huge, for a character who had to put her dreams on hold for such a long time. Also, just as a quick note, I love Darryl a lot. I love that he was able to come to terms with Paula leaving because he wants his friend to be happy. Sure, he might want to keep her around, but he would never try to manipulate her or guilt her into staying. I love him.

Another character I'm very happy for is Greg. He has something of a mini-arc in this episode where he realizes, with the help of the ever-wise Heather, that it's not West Covina that Greg has always had a problem with - it was just his own self-hatred. His business-school thesis project, to reopen his family's restaurant, goes well, and he decides he's going to stay in town and reopen the restaurant for real. I just want to say, that separate from his relationship with Rebecca, Greg coming back and realizing that this place can be home for him is quite moving. I had my doubts about Greg's return, since it seemed like he had genuinely found peace and happiness elsewhere. But this is a thing that happens to people - they grow, they change, and their thoughts and feelings grow with them. Whether or not Greg and Rebecca end up together in the end, I'm happy Greg has stuck around. Also, Skylar Astin's reprise of "Hey, West Covina" was absolutely beautiful. He's got an amazing voice, and his version really highlighted the joy of his epiphany.

Like I said, I'm torn about Valencia and Beth, but I do want to praise Gabrielle Ruiz's performance. This is something of a backslide for Valencia, as she suddenly pins all of her hopes and dreams on marriage, with the idea that all her problems will be solved if she can just get down the aisle. However, we also see how she has grown. She pouts and grumbles, but her relationship with Beth is built on real love and respect. She comes clean to Beth and tells her exactly how she's feeling, and while she might have been a bit more tactful about it, I still ultimately think this was proof of Valencia's growth.

Oh, Josh. This week, we see that both Josh and Nathaniel get involved with the local musical production in order to be around Rebecca. In a way, both of these men are doing the kind of thing Rebecca would have done to be around Josh in the earlier seasons of the show. However, there's a twist with both cases. With Josh, it's the fact that he doesn't go as far as Rebecca would go, and he just sort of quietly fails in his quest to connect with Rebecca. Sure, she's happy to see him and glad he's helping out, but they don't have a character moment or a beat where it looks like Josh is winning her over. I hope that we get to see an honest character resolution for Josh, because honestly, of the three main suitors I've got to say that Josh's continued interest in Rebecca is the most troubling. It's not founded on a real connection or real romantic feelings. It seems like Josh is acting out and needs to focus on his own personal growth. I don't like his behavior in this episode, but it's a "pro" in terms of the story's development, because I think we need to see Josh overcome these hurdles the same way we saw Rebecca do.

But then there's Nathaniel. He is also doing something a little over the top in order to spend time with Rebecca, but I honestly think his behavior, while a bit unhealthy, isn't the same type of twisted manipulation we've seen Rebecca use over the years. Sure, he lets himself get roped in to being a part of the musical, but we see that throughout the rehearsal process, Nathaniel doesn't do anything to make Rebecca feel smothered or uncomfortable. It's not just a smokescreen - he really does learn the song, and learns Rebecca's song too. He really does intend to be a part of this thing. And there's nothing inherently creepy or wrong about doing an activity to be around someone you care about, although I do admit it's problematic that he doesn't tell her this until the end of the episode. Here's the bottom line of the situation, though: when Nathaniel went out there to sing Rebecca's song with the changed lyrics, he wasn't doing it in order to win her affection. He was doing it to make her happy, because he cares about her and he could tell this was important to her. That's huge. I'm not necessarily rooting for these two to end up together, but I find the delicate and intricate relationship between them to be very fascinating and touching. Rebecca's line: "someone else is singing my song," was huge, by the way. Whatever ends up happening between these two, I think that was a great moment for both characters.

And we'll end with Rebecca, appropriately. This episode was huge for her character development. We start with a somewhat familiar concept - Rebecca has found something or someone that she thinks is going to make her whole life better - if she can just a) be with Josh or b) be with Greg or c) be with Nathaniel or d) devote herself to being single or e) open a pretzel shop and get out of the legal profession, or f) go back into musical theatre... then suddenly everything in her life is going to click and make perfect sense. That's the setup, and if we know Rebecca, she's going to go to any lengths to make sure that her dream comes true. She'll warp reality to suit her purposes and make the experience what she hoped it would be.

Except... she doesn't. She's not great a singing, and she knows that, but she gives it her all, and is really excited by the song that she gets. Then, while she starts to become disillusioned with the message and lyrics of the song, she still practices and comes to rehearsal and doesn't let everything get all dark and twisty. She tries to change the lyrics and take ownership of the song's message, and she doesn't have a total breakdown when things go wrong. At the end of the day, Rebecca's first experience getting back into musical theatre goes horribly. But she's okay. She's not losing her mind. She's processing, and she's disappointed, but she's not going to give up just because of this setback. That's huge. I think this is a great personal accomplishment for Rebecca, and it's not due just to Nathaniel's interference, or any other external force. It's thanks to all of the hard work she's put in to building herself a healthy life.

And that's that! I can't believe how close we are to the end. I'm going to be extra super-duper emotional when this show comes to an end, I can tell you that!

9/10