The Vampire Diaries: I Carry Your Heart with Me (7x04)

I didn't like this episode. There was almost nothing about it that drew me in. I feel like we're moving farther and farther away from the key elements I was hoping to get out of this season. Namely, I was looking forward to Damon and Stefan's relationship, but there were other things too. Let's take a look at this episode, and its unfortunately large number of flaws.

Cons:

Stefan and Caroline. I really do like the idea of them together, but this week's plot thread was just too silly. Because Damon hasn't given up Oscar to Lily, the dynamic Heretic lesbian duo of Mary Louise and Nora show up to Whitmore to wreak havoc. They tell Damon and Stefan that they will kill one Whitmore student per hour until Oscar is delivered to them. This causes Stefan and Caroline to think up distractions - namely, a big Halloween party, with costumes included. For a show that does a lot of big dances and events, this was a flimsy excuse at best. Stefan and Caroline making flirty eyes with each other while so many people were in real danger was a little hard to swallow. Of course, the vervaine curse on Caroline's skin means that there's lots of mounting sexual tension. They can't touch until one of the Heretics syphons away the curse. They trick Mary Louis and Nora into doing so, and then immediately fall into bed together. Okay... like, I know that Stefan and Caroline are a thing and we're all happy about it, but do they honestly not care about all the other crap that's going on? What about all the dead folks in Mystic Falls? You'd think Stefan would at least want to confirm that Elena really had been returned to Damon, too. I don't know... to me, these two came across as really selfish in this episode, and that's not something I'd normally associate either one of them with. On top of that, Caroline's stupid insecurities about Stefan's old flame Valerie continue to irk me. That whole plot thread is stupid.

The reason Damon had trouble returning Oscar to Lily is, of course, that Valerie killed Oscar to prevent him from telling Lily where to find the love of her life Julian. Valerie doesn't want Julian back because he beat her and forced her to miscarry her child. Fair enough. Enzo, apparently, wants to work with Valerie to prevent Lily finding Julian because he, Enzo, loves Lily. I continue to find this incredibly stupid. No matter how hard they try, they can't find a way to make me care about Enzo's character.

Then we've got the Phoenix Stone nonsense. Turns out, the bloody thing works. Damon has Bonnie use it to resurrect Oscar. It seems to work fine, although it does have some consequences, like causing Oscar to be ravenous with thirst. Then, Bonnie uses it to resurrect Jo. As the episode ends, we see her eyes open. This would be shocking, except for the fact that they've been building it up for the past few episodes, and also because we already know it's going to be a disaster. Not real subtle, guys. Bonnie and Alaric are both being total idiots.

I was looking forward to seeing more of Matt this season, but so far all we've seen from him is that he's a fairly incompetent police officer, unable to make any real difference when it comes to the Heretics' behavior. He's so inconsequential at this point. Isolating the vampires from the humans of Mystic Falls isn't doing much for Matt's place in this show. He, like Enzo, seems fairly pointless at the moment. But unlike Enzo, I want Matt to regain his relevance, and soon.

Pros:

That being said, in regards to the last plot there were a few things that I did like. The Phoenix Stone is stupid, but I am glad to see that Oscar is alive once again. He has promise as being an interesting Heretic, unlike Valerie or Lily. Also, I loved the moment when Damon asked if it was really a good idea to use the Phoenix Stone on Jo. Alaric replies that he has to try, and Damon says "no offense, but I was asking Bonnie." I'm all about that. Bonnie getting recognition is my favorite thing ever.

Speaking of Bonnie, I also liked the brief scene of Bonnie and Caroline together. It bothered me that Caroline talked about the Valerie and Stefan nonsense, but I did love how Caroline told Bonnie not to worry about removing the vervaine curse. She just wanted to spend time with her friend. Aww!

Stefan and Damon didn't get a lot to do in this episode, but I did find the moment when they hung Oscar's body out the window to hide him from Nora and Mary Louise to be morbidly hilarious. I hope we can get more scenes between the two of them, especially now that Damon has declared he's sticking around in Mystic Falls.

Nora and Mary Louise got a lot of screen time, as they worked out their relationship. I liked this stuff, actually. They're not the most interesting characters in the world, but I like all the stuff about them realizing they can be a couple openly, and kudos to the CW for the kiss between two women, which is unfortunately still a rarity on TV. I think it's kind of refreshing to see a couple of hot villainous lesbians on this show, to be honest. They're over the top, but there's something undeniably fascinating about watching two totally immature and morally corrupt people find their way to a loving understanding of their relationship. Each of them is struggling to adapt to the new century that they've found themselves in, and it's sort of fun to watch them navigate that. These two are infinitely more fascinating than Valerie or Lily, in any case.

As has been true of this whole season, the best part of the episode was the flash-forward. The pieces are no closer to coming together, as this week we see Alaric in the future with twin daughters. Damon shows up, and it seems that these two old friends are no longer close. Damon has something he needs Alaric's help with. Dun dun dun... honestly, I wish we could skip through all of this present-day crap and get to the world where Stefan is waking Damon up in his coffin, Caroline isn't talking to Stefan and is getting staked, Damon is finding Alaric and his twins, Tyler is apparently back on the show... it's just so much more exciting!

That's all I've got at the moment. Quite a disappointing direction for The Vampire Diaries, honestly. They're lucky they've totally hooked me with the flash-forward stuff. If it weren't for that, my interest would be pretty much gone.

5/10