Oh my god, this was an AMAZING episode.
Cons:
I feel bad for continuing to harp on this, but The Guide continues to feel like such a wasted character! I like the performance, I don't think it has to be this way, there could be some really funny stuff here! But instead it's the same joke again and again. It's like she's the Jerry from Parks and Rec or the Toby from The Office. But this show didn't really need that, they're all a bunch of losers, and there's already the vampires treating Guillermo like he's disposable to fall back on as a joke? I don't know. She had plot relevance this week, but it feels like we could have done this without her.
Pros:
Lazlo's ennui was really funny, the way he keeps dismissing everyone's attempt to snap him out of it... one of the funniest exchanges was right at the top, when Nadja and Nandor were talking about Lazlo lacking interest in his old hobbies: Nadja - "We are down to like sixteen fucks a week." / Nandor - "We're down to three". And Nadja reaches out and puts a hand on Nandor's arm, in horror and sympathy to hear something so terrible! That really made me laugh.
Honestly, this episode was laughs all the way through, I can't even pick favorite lines from everyone. But I loved Colin's failed roast of Lazlo, I loved Nadja saying that maybe dying wouldn't be so bad, and Nandor being like "wtf" and then Nadja being like "I've just been going through a lot lately."
The main plot here is that the Baron discovers that Guillermo was the one who accidentally burned him up a few years ago, and he wants revenge. As ridiculous as all the antics were, I was also genuinely moved by Nadja and Nandor both begging for Guillermo's life and trying to dissuade the Baron. But at the same time, they're all worried about Guillermo killing the Baron, because he's the origin of their line of vampires, and his vampire descendants might die as well! What a fun and twisted web of allegiances. Guillermo doesn't try and kill the Baron, in part because it puts his friends at risk. And yet his friends can't let the Baron kill Guillermo either!
Things are... sort of resolved... when Guillermo tells the Baron that he has renounced his vampire killing family legacy by becoming a vampire himself. The Baron finds the whole situation with Nandor not being the one to change him kind of hilarious and he's also sympathetic to Guillermo because of it, so he calls off his vengeance. And then... Guillermo accidentally burns him in the sunlight again.
Genuinely, the sight of Nandor clutching Guillermo's sweater, and then his grief when he sees "Guillermo" dead on the ground in front of him... I'm sure the whole fandom is celebrating hardcore. It was so much. Pair that with the utterly callous way that Lazlo guts the corpse, to show everyone that it's not really "Gizmo", but one of his clone experiments gone awry... this show is utterly ridiculous in the very best way.
The sweet Guillermo and Nandor moments don't stop there. When Nandor finds Guillermo hiding in his coffin, after thinking he has fled never to be seen again, he asks him questions to make sure it's the real him. One of them is, what's in the card you gave to me the first day you were my familiar? And Guillermo quotes it exactly, with Nandor mouthing along. "To be a vampire is my dream, but to be your familiar would be my honor." What the heck kind of high romance? Amazing. I can't believe next week we're going to see Nandor find out about Guillermo at last. Everyone's been building up again and again how Nandor will be forced to kill Guillermo and then himself. I wonder what's going to happen!
Turns out, Lazlo's strange mood was just because he was trying to figure out how to alphabetize his books. I love this gag as like... a fun example of what longevity and immortality might really be like. You can afford to just space out for a couple weeks to make a decision if you like! There's so much time stretched before you.
It was so funny to see Doug Jones as the Baron, sans any weird crazy make-up or prosthetics, only for the episode to involve him getting all burned up and disfigured again. I guess he's back to untold hours in the makeup chair any time he's on this show! I love it. I also loved how the Baron accepted Guillermo as a vampire right away, in a way the others who are in the know haven't quite done. He's all-in for his fellow vamps, and now he's got a bunch of Guillermo animal clones to hang out with at his place!
I'm not ready for this season to be over, it all happened too quickly! This may be the best episode of the season.
9.5/10
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