Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I'm In Love (4x17)

I can't believe it's over! I am experiencing many emotions!

Cons:

I'm trying really, really hard not to let my brain run away with me about all the things we didn't get to see, but that tends to be a problem whenever a show comes to an end. Even if I like the material we got, I feel cheated of what we didn't get. I'm upset that WhiJo didn't get some sort of happiness. I didn't want him and Darryl back together at this point, because it wouldn't have worked within the narrative, but... something. We never got to see Paula's husbands and kids again. There were things from Rebecca's past that were never brought up, like Trent or the professor guy from her college that arguably kick-started this whole thing. I suppose I didn't need to see every little character get a moment to shine, but I wish I could have had it anyway.

I'm usually a fan of meta when it's well done, but Paula going in to Rebecca's head with her was maybe a bit much. They could have done that conversation without that part of it. Also, the idea that Rebecca is "In Love" and it's with herself, and with the community she's formed, is obviously predictable, and I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way, but I feel like the show sort of wrote itself into a corner a little bit. They spent considerable time trying to get us to believe that Rebecca had to choose between the three guys. I was skeptical, because I thought all along that they wouldn't show her "ending up" with anyone, because it would feel too cheap. But then, that started to feel like the obvious cliche - Rebecca chooses herself, instead of love! I wanted my expectations to be subverted, and they weren't. This was pretty much exactly what I predicted. Rebecca would reject all three guys, and then we'd see that after some time had passed, there would be a hint of future romantic happiness waiting for her. It's a little bit like they tried to have their cake and eat it too.

Pros:

In some ways, I probably should have waited a couple of hours after watching this episode before I started writing about it, because I'm honestly feeling a little bit underwhelmed by it. That said, there were so many individual little pieces that I adored.

With the exception of Rebecca herself, which I'll talk more about in a moment, I think we got a really good balance of "endings" for the characters. Rebecca is sure to point out that finding romantic love isn't an ending, it's just one piece of who you are. But we get to see the mix of people who find romantic love and that's their fulfilling moment - Josh meets a woman, Valencia proposes to Beth. We see that Heather and Hector are still going strong in their marriage, and they don't seem to have any kids or be talking about that, at least for the time being, which is a fun thing to show - it's okay to be in a happy marriage and not want kids. It's also okay to be in a happy marriage and wind up with a ton of kids, like what happens with Darryl and April, who blend their families and have another kid on the way. There's also professional and personal fulfillment. We see that Nathaniel gets out from under his father's shadow and decides to go work at a zoo! That's adorable and perfect! Greg's restaurant is a success, and he feels fulfilled in his career. Rebecca even says that she sees him as a good example of someone who's further along in his recovery than her. And Paula - Paula finds a way to keep her high-powered career that she worked so hard for, while also helping out the women at the jail. It's the perfect way for her character to wrap up on the show.

This episode is a little tricky to review in some ways, because it's not really functioning as its own episode of a TV show. It's really there to be a summary of everything that's come before. I thought "Eleven O'Clock" was an excellent way to bow out, in terms of musical numbers. We see Rebecca remembering all the parts of herself, all of the identities she's tried to step into. With Paula's help, she realizes that this is the answer - she uses music to self-reflect, and she should try to cultivate that as a real skill instead of just letting it happen in her head. It's really the only narrative ending that makes sense for Rebecca's character, and it manages to straddle the line between being purely retrospective, and being completely hypothetical. It's a blending of the past and the future in a way that I found really satisfying. (I maintain that we could have had this ending and a confirmed romantic fulfillment, but I guess I can see how that might muddy the message just a bit).

In some ways, this episode left me feeling a bit unfulfilled, but that final moment, when Rebecca is so joyous and excited to share her music with all of her loved ones, really did give me goosebumps. I can walk away with the show feeling pretty satisfied with where it left most of the characters (I'm bitter about WhiJo, but what else is new?). I can walk away knowing that this show is something I'll treasure for a very long time, and will continue to come back to, and recommend to friends. So, for this final episode on its own, I'll give a rating:

8/10

Before I review the show as a whole, I want to talk about the concert special. It was so much fun. Every actor got a little moment to shine. I loved the song selection, the costumes, the medleys, the way Rachel Bloom pushes the limits of censors to their absolute edge. I think the two most amazing moments for me were "Gettin' Bi" and Bloom's "The Darkness/You Stupid Bitch" combo. For the first one, it's just so great to hear a song like that being performed on a stage with a crowd full of people enthusiastically cheering about it. The bi flag colors were flashing everywhere, and everyone was just having such a great time. (It would have been even cooler if Valencia and Maya had gotten to feature in some way, but I understand that it's Darryl's song!) Then, you have Rachel Bloom talking to the audience and viewers about how writing these songs has made so many people feel less alone. It's so comforting and validating to know you're not the only one feeling a certain way. Seeing the crowd join in on "You Stupid Bitch" was enormously moving for me. I thought they did a great job with the concert special, and I wish it could have been twice as long!

And now... for this show as a whole, I have no choice but to give it a perfect score. Sure, there were episodes that didn't bowl me over with their awesomeness, and I do think that certain parts of Season Four maybe failed to stick the landing slightly. But I'm only saying that because this show is so damn amazing that I can be nit-picky. This show has made me laugh and cry and smile and think. I listen to the music all the time and it always puts me in such a good mood. Rachel Bloom is an incredible artist and I cannot wait to see what she chooses to make next.

10/10