Supernatural: There's Something About Mary (12x21)

Yeah, okay, fuck you Buckleming.

Cons:

Eileen is dead. These writers are the jackasses who killed Charlie, and they're back again for another ridiculous move. I get what they're trying to go for here. The idea is that Sam and Dean need to feel totally alone as they face down the big bad at the end of this season, so we've got to axe off some allies so they feel that desperation. It worked really well when Bobby tragically died. Doesn't work so well when you start axing off female characters for no good reason. If you wanted Eileen out of the way, just keep her in Ireland. Why the fuck would you bring her back just to kill her in the first minute? She got a cold open death and then we saw her body on a slab in the morgue. Like, are you serious? And I'm assuming Bevell was lying when she said that Jody and Claire were dead, because if they really are, then... I literally... I mean I'd literally fucking punch my computer screen.

Like, somebody explain to me how killing Eileen is a good idea in any sense of the word. People loved her. She was interesting. She was a character who could pop in and out of the story without problem, like Jody or Claire. Or like Charlie, before the frankly ridiculous death of her character. Why don't they learn? Are they incapable of using their heads?

Oh yeah, and Eileen's death, in the first fucking minute of the show, is only the beginning of the problems I have with this episode. The thing is, it makes no sense.

Apparently, Lucifer is free now. Because of reasons. One of the minions who has been trying to figure out how Crowley has trapped him, just... randomly declares "oh the polarity is being reversed" or some shit, and suddenly Lucifer has control over Crowley, not the other way around. This makes no sense. Like, less than no sense. "Reverse the polarity" is the made up crap that they say in Doctor Who AS A JOKE to explain the science mumbo jumbo. Unacceptable. Seriously. Also unacceptable is the idea that any of us would believe that Lucifer had actually managed to kill Crowley. If Crowley was an idiot for keeping Lucifer out of the Cage, then Lucifer is certainly nearly as big an idiot for believing Crowley could be taken out so easily. He clearly smoked himself into a rat vessel. C'mon. I want to believe that somehow Crowley planned this out and that he's got another trick up his sleeve, but even if he does, it's stupid. You can't do that many fake-outs and expect us to stick with it.

Also the dialogue in Buckleming episodes just sucks. Sam and Dean don't sound like themselves and it's annoying and weird. The Brits speak to each other with such comic awkwardness. Our only saving grace is that Cas isn't in this episode, so they can't screw him up too.

Oh, and another thing? As this episode ends, we get the moment where Sam and Dean realize that their mother has been brainwashed. Mr. Ketch takes Mary with him and leaves Sam, Dean, and Toni in the bunker. He informs them that he's going to lock them inside and that their oxygen will last two or three days and that then they'll die. I hate it when I'm forced into the position of trying to help out the villains but... what could possibly be the point in keeping them alive? Why didn't Ketch just shoot Sam and Dean in the head? It literally makes no sense. Two days means they have two days to find a way out and seek revenge. There is no good reason for playing the long game in this instance. And we've seen Ketch kill indiscriminately before. What's stopping him now?

Pros:

Okay, okay, okay. There were some good elements to this episode, though. But only by comparison to the crap I just discussed above. Toni Bevell is back, and I'm actually marking that as a positive aspect to the episode. She apparently brainwashes Mary, who has been going around and killing hunters. Eileen is killed by a Hell Hound that Crowley apparently loaned to the British MOL (something else that makes NO SENSE but whatever), while the other hunters have actually been felled by Mary herself. I like the fact that Toni's maliciousness from the start of the season is actually wrapping back around. We're starting to see how the British MOL operate, and how Toni could have been allowed to get away with everything for so long. She's a sycophant. She does what she does because she thinks it will get her ahead in the game, and she doesn't care who she hurts to get there. I'm actually interested to see what will happen when Sam and Dean are forced to work with her next week.

Mary being brainwashed is really interesting to me, especially with how they're framing it in terms of Mary's characterization. This isn't a simple matter of her being turned into the polar opposite of herself. As Toni says, they're basically resetting Mary to her factory settings. A good hunter, a skillful killer, without this fantasy of a perfect family life clouding the way. Toni breaks the news to Mary that after she died, John was abusive to Sam and Dean, and left them on their own for long stretches of time. This shattering of a false past was a great way to dive a bit deeper into Mary's mindset. All season, she's been in denial about needing to make a choice. She wants to hunt to rid the world of monsters so she can make Sam and Dean happy, but in doing so she's making them miserable by keeping her distance. She can't have it all, and she can't admit that to herself.

As stupid as Ketch is for locking Sam and Dean up instead of just killing them instantly, I do like the idea of a "trapped in the bunker" episode. We've had a few of those in the past, and they have all been fairly successful. Eileen's death aside, the idea of isolating Sam and Dean so they feel totally alone in the world is not a bad one. Mary is brainwashed, Cas is arguably also brainwashed, Crowley is dead inside of a rat, and things are generally just shit. I want to see them handle that together.

Actually, you know, that's something I do want to mention about this very, very uneven and messy season of Supernatural. For all of my many complaints, one good thing about it is that Sam and Dean have been a united front. They had them almost at odds over the Men of Letters, but that was resolved so quickly, and they both took the time to understand each other and make decisions together. Going forward into this finale, they're really on each other's team. There are no lingering secrets or resentments. I honestly do appreciate that, as I think that Sam and Dean can only be at odds with each other so many times before it becomes unbelievable.

Alright. That's all I'm going to say about this one. I could have ranted on about Eileen for a lot longer, but I was devolving into incoherence and I didn't want to do that. Honestly, though, fuck Buckleming. Why do they still write for this show? Ugh. Sorry for all the swearing; I usually try to avoid it in my reviews but I'm just so steamed that I can't help myself.

5/10