Doctor Who: The Husbands of River Song (2015 Christmas Special)

Miracle of miracles, this episode actually made me a little bit emotional about River Song. I'll try to forestall my usual complaints about her character, because most people have heard it before, either from me or from somebody else. In any case, this was a really proper sendoff for her character, even if it does cause some (more) continuity errors in terms of River's first appearance on the show, and last adventure with the Doctor in "The Silence in the Library." This installment wasn't all that Christmas-y, but it was fun and it was touching. Let's take a closer look.

Cons:

The basic plot of this one has the Doctor stumbling upon one of River's adventures pretty much at random. River doesn't recognize him, because he doesn't have one of his twelve known faces. Adventures ensue, fun times are had, and then when River is in danger, the baddies think that the Doctor might show up and try to save her. She gives a big impassioned speech about how the Doctor isn't stupid enough or in love enough to risk anything for her. He's a monument, a god, greater than any mere mortal. He wouldn't waste his time on her. The worst part is... she seems to believe what she's saying. When she finally realizes that the Doctor is the Doctor, she's shocked.

River is supposed to know the Doctor. She's supposed to be his wife, one of the true loves of his long life. And she really believes he's the kind of man who's too above it all to bother risking everything for a lone human? Dude, the Doctor does that all the time, even for people he's not in love with! And the thing is, River isn't so far off in her assessment of the Doctor's behavior, if you look at the characterization of the Doctor during the Moffat-era. This is another example of the epic-ness of the Doctor's character that really does not need to be there, and greatly detracts from the message of the show, in my opinion. The Doctor is not a monument or the sunset or whatever other stupid thing River was going on about.

There were a lot of opportunities in this episode to mention the Ponds, but none of them were capitalized upon. Some reference to River's parents might have been nice, given what an important part of the show they once were. I also wasn't clear on how much time had passed since the Doctor forgot about Clara. Some clarity on how long he's been alone might have been helpful in understanding his actions, too. These are tiny complaints, but I thought some small tie-ins to the larger issues in the show might have made this installment feel a bit more relevant. As it was, it's a stand-alone that could be inserted or deleted with no problem whatsoever. It was fun to see River, but otherwise... what's the point?

Pros:

But I said I liked this episode. And I did. Mostly, I enjoyed it because it casted River as the lead and the Doctor as the companion, which was quite fun to see. Unlike in other roll-reversal episodes, this one actually showed River Song as the main character. Her actions drove the plot. For most of the story, the Doctor really was just along for the ride, offering a helpful suggestion now and then, but letting River run the show. It was a lot of fun to see him as the companion, particularly when he got to enter the TARDIS and act shocked at the fact that "it's bigger on the inside." Capaldi's melodramatic performance was really funny here.

The story itself was quite fun, as we see that River is back to her amoral archeological practices. Her time traveling ways allow her to fetch rare jewels by jumping in to a convenient point of the timeline, grabbing said rare treasure, and then selling it to a ready buyer. Things go astray when a rare gem ends up lodged into the skull of King Hydroflax, a cruel and violent cyborg overlord... also known as River's husband. She insists she married the diamond, though. She tries to sell the diamond, still inside Hydroflax's head, to a wealthy buyer, only to learn that the buyer is a worshipper of Hydroflax himself.

Shenanigans ensue, the Doctor and River escape, and end up on Darillium, where the Doctor knows he will spend his last moments with River. And here we get to the part of the episode that worked the very best - the relationship between River and the Doctor. Everything else comes in second place when compared to the central relationship of the episode, and it's here that things really click together.

You see, despite the somewhat stupid idea that River really believes the Doctor is too Super Important to risk his life for her, there's still something undeniably tragic about their story. River loves the Doctor with all her heart, but she genuinely doesn't believe that the Doctor loves her back. The look on Capaldi's face when he realizes that... it's so tragic. And speaking of tragic, the Doctor is so heartbroken throughout most of this episode, because River doesn't know him. He's getting a taste of his own medicine here, seeing as how we've already seen how much it hurt River when the Doctor didn't know her. The look of adoration on the Doctor's face when River turns to look at him, finally realizing that he's been by her side this whole time... wow. I felt a real connection to their relationship for the first time since... well, probably since we first met River.

Then there's the Doctor's attempts to be a good... well, a good partner and husband to River Song. He's never been the conventional type, but for their last moments together he arranges to take her out to a nice dinner on Darillium. River dresses herself up, and the Doctor compliments her, although as River points out, he has no idea whether she's looking particularly nice or not. He can barely notice that she's arranged her hair differently. The Doctor tells River that a single night on Darillium lasts for twenty-four years, meaning that they have plenty of time to be together as a married couple at last, giving both of them time to slow down and smell the roses before River zooms off for one last adventure in a certain planet-wide library.

This final scene is over-the-top cheesy, but it works somehow. I think it's because there's something gentler and more genuine in the love portrayed between Capaldi and Kingston here. They still have their quippy back and forth, but the "hello sweetie" and "spoilers" lines are used to sentimental effect, and there are a lot of lingering looks and smiles. You feel a deep-boned connection and love between the two of them, and it works very well. As the screen fades to black on their smiling faces, the words "And they lived happily ever after" are written across the screen. "Ever after" then fades away, leaving us with the idea that they lived happily, even if nothing lasts forever. That was surprisingly moving, as it encapsulates one of the key themes of Doctor Who - make the most of the time you've got left. Even immortal time travelers don't get forever.

That's all I've got. I'll be curious to see what happens in the next season with whatever new companion Moffat is cooking up. I did see some rumors that Capaldi might be stepping down after this season, and even some rumblings that Moffat will be backing off too? One can only hope...

7.5/10