Modern Family: White Christmas (7x09)

Great episode, with a few weaker threads to deal with. Let's jump right in.

Cons:

The plot involves the entire family going to a cabin in the woods for Christmas. Mostly this worked really well, but there was a subplot with Luke, Manny, and Lily involving the two boys trying to scare Lily by telling her the house was haunted. The episode tag shows that Luke had locked himself in the perpetually locked room by accident, as his family leaves him behind. These little glimpses of horror-parody clashed pretty badly with the idea of Christmas spirit that they seemed to be going for overall. It wasn't awful, but it just didn't fit.

Alex's subplot got a little lost in the shuffle as well. She ends up befriending a woman named Fig, who came to the cabin because her family comes there every year. Apparently they all took off to Hawaii without her, and she didn't even know about it. Cam kindly invites Fig to stay with them. She's an overwhelmingly negative woman, and Alex immediately gravitates towards her. Fig is the smartest in her family, and has alienated herself from everybody else. Alex declares that this woman is her ghost of Christmas future, and she tries to be less negative. There were things I loved about this plot thread (see below!) but it sort of tapered off into nothing. It would have been nice to have some sort of emotional resolution, and show some real growth for Alex's character. As it was, nothing really progressed because of this plot thread.

Pros:

That being said, Fig was hilarious. Her acerbic personality totally fit for a future version of Alex. The episode ends with the family gathered around the window to watch it snow: a Christmas miracle if ever there was one, because it's been swelteringly hot the whole weekend. Fig helpfully tells them that it's not snow - it's ash from a forest fire. "If you're quiet you can hear the screaming." Yikes! That was so funny.

Cam and Mitchell were also great this week. Apparently they had a humiliating experience the year before when they tried to perform a Christmas carol, and Mitchell got drunk. The family has been mocking them all year, so this year they've been practicing for weeks to surprise everybody. Of course, Lily wants to join in, and her dads have to find a way to stop her from singing with them because of how horrible her voice is. They keep getting interrupted before they can sing, and then Alex and Fig steal their thunder by performing "Silent Night" using the same harmonies they were going to use. There were lots of laughs here. I particularly liked Mitchell and Cam's furious reactions when they saw the family all gathered around the piano enjoying a beautiful moment. How dare they steal their thunder!

Jay uses the family gathering to announce that he's finally retiring from his business. He announces his replacement as CEO, and Claire is furious because she thought she was going to get the job. Turns out, she did get the job, but Jay made up another guy to test her. He didn't want her to take the job just because she felt obligated. She has to fight for it. Unfortunately, her anger causes her to tell Jay that he saved her a lot of trouble, since working with closets is "boring." Jay is infuriated. Eventually, Gloria tells Claire the truth, and Jay produces an early Christmas present, engraved with "Claire Dunphy, CEO." They hug it out. This plot thread had a surprising amount of heart in it. I'm so happy for Claire. She really deserves this position. Although I wonder how the company employees are going to take the news. They've never liked her. I'm also happy for Jay. I think it'll be interesting to see how he deals with a life of leisure. Something tells me there might me some comedy involved in his adjustment period! :)

Andy is invited to this holiday gathering, and he and Haley end up hooking up in one of the rooms of the cabin. When Lily gets scared and thinks it's the ghost that Manny and Luke told her about, the whole family comes up to investigate and bursts into the room, seeing Andy and Haley half undressed. Things get even worse when Gloria comes around the corner with Beth, a Christmas surprise for Andy. In the end, Phil tells Andy to either a) break things off with Haley if this is just a fling or b) be honest with Beth about what happened. Just as Andy is about to tell Beth the truth, she admits that she's been seeing somebody else. More than one somebody else, actually. Beth leaves, having broken off the engagement, never knowing the truth about Andy and Haley. Andy is hurt that Beth betrayed him, and Haley is hurt that Andy is so hurt by it in the first place. But they work it out, and as the episode ends it looks like they're going to try and be together for real.

At first I was a little annoyed that Beth was also cheating on Andy, because it just seems like a lazy way to make him seem like less of a bad person. But upon reflection, I like what it suggests for the future of Andy and Haley's relationship. Both of them are going to have serious trust issues moving forward. I hope they address that.

Phil gets MVP for the night for his talk with Andy. He tells him in no uncertain terms that it's time to be a man and make the right decision. He's uncharacteristically serious, but he doesn't yell or tell Andy he's a bad person. Phil is honestly the sort of father I would want for my hypothetical future children. He's a goofball but he knows when to lay down the law. That brief scene between Phil and Andy was my favorite of the episode.

One last thing to praise in this installment: the dialogue was on point! There were so many comedic moments that it's hard to count them all. I'll just name a few of my favorites:

Claire grabs Phil's hand, squeezing hard in anger at being overlooked for CEO. Phil says to her: "that's my gesturing hand, I need it for work!"

Andy and Beth have the most hilarious pet names for each other, including "zucchini blossom," and "popcorn shrimp." So great!

Gloria tells Andy to stop complaining about Beth's infidelity, and be grateful that Haley likes him: "she's a stone-cold ten and you're a Utah seven."

Lily mistakenly thinks that a small indoor bike is for her, instead of for Joe. She takes it, and Mitchell and Cam shrug and say that they guess Joe is getting a doll for Christmas. Jay doesn't seem to mind, but he does have to make the joke: "Mitch and Cam, always pushing their agenda..."

I think that's all I've got for this week's episode. While it may not have been flawless, it had enough heart and some very solid moments to make it a winner.

8/10