Doctor Who: The Return of Doctor Mysterio (2016 Christmas Special)

2016's Doctor Who Christmas special was... unoffensive and bland. There were a few things that I enjoyed while watching, a few things I didn't enjoy, and when it ended I pretty much forgot it all instantly. Not exactly a masterpiece.

Cons:

Like I said, this whole thing was pretty bland. There was a slight connection to last year's Christmas special, as we learn that the Doctor and River have just had their final "date," lasting many years. Ostensibly, this is the Doctor's first real foray out into the world since River left him to go die in the Library. That's a nice little connection, but the story doesn't really play up on it very much. Same can be said for the Doctor's sort-of companion, Nardole, who was the head of the Hydroflax last we saw him. The Doctor keeps him around because he's afraid he'll be lonely. An interesting conceit, but it's not handled as skillfully as the 11th Doctor's love for his Cyberman head, and we don't get enough time to really parse this out. Nardole's presence ends up feeling like a buildup to whatever his character will be in Series Ten, instead of a proper piece of this episode itself.

Then there's the disconnect between the stuff happening with the Doctor, and the stuff happening with the superhero. Grant was a young boy when he met the Doctor for the first time and inadvertently swallowed a powerful gemstone, giving the superhero-obsessed little boy the superpowers he always wanted. Years later, Grant is posing as a nanny for the child of a woman he's been pining for all his life. This woman, a reporter, is smitten by the mysterious "Ghost," who is of course Grant's alter-ego. You can't get much more cliche. It's the stereotypical superhero story in every way, without even a bit of nuance to change things up. Grant is Superman, complete with a glasses-wearing unassuming alternate personality. And Lucy is Lois Lane, down to the fact that she's a nosy reporter who, despite being portrayed as quite intelligent, is blinded by her smitten feelings for the superhero she's trying to investigate. Ugh. Stop.

Elementary: Pick Your Poison (5x10)

Usually, I really enjoy how understated Elementary can be. Unlike in other cop shows, the personal lives of the detectives are not inexplicably and frequently tied to the case of the week. Instead, the detectives' personal investment in the cases is reasonably slight. But every once in a while, I need some high drama from my procedural shows, and this episode felt like a bit of a wasted opportunity to give us that. In other ways, I do still admire the restraint... let's take a look.

Cons:

The case involves Joan's medical license being used to write out fraudulent prescriptions. I was really enticed by the possibilities of this plot thread, but the guilty doctor is quickly found, and Joan's personal investment in the case is quickly pointless. It would have upped the stakes if Joan's reputation had really been on the line, but as it was, there was nothing much going on here for her personally. That's not to say I didn't enjoy the case, but it went down an avenue it really didn't need to go down. We already had a compelling stake in events.

Speaking more specifically about the case, I thought the outcome was fairly obvious from early on. I was actually rolling my eyes at Sherlock et. al. for not realizing it was the son who had shot his mother. That's never a good sign.

The Big Bang Theory: The Birthday Synchronicity (10x11)

A decent episode with a heartwarming new addition to the family. Say hello to Halley Wolowitz!

Cons:

I feel like a broken record saying this, but I have to point out that Raj and Stuart have been useless at best and infuriatingly annoying at worst for most of this season. While Bernadette is about to give birth, we also have to contend with Raj and Stuart competing over who has the more pathetic life. Not. Interesting.

Also, there was this moment when everybody was in the hospital waiting for Bernadette to give birth, and they all discuss the progress they've made in their lives. Leonard brings up the government contract, which ended up annoying me because we literally have not heard a word about that in weeks. What is with this show's inability to have a through-plot?

Modern Family: Snow Ball (8x09)

This episode was kind of just... meh. Which I feel like I've been saying a lot about this show lately. There were a few really lovely elements, and then a lot that just had me shrugging my shoulders.

Cons:

Phil seeks validation in his relationship with Jay, again, and Jay is annoyingly aloof when it comes to his needy son-in-law, again, and then there's a vaguely sweet moment of connection between them, again. Nothing new here.

The framing device of this episode is that Luke and Manny organized the school dance, and the adults are chaperoning. There's this plot thread where Claire and Gloria try and set up one of the uptight manic mothers with the principal. Principal Brown is hilarious, but the mother was just your generic high-strung helicopter mom. Just a little uninspired.

Elementary: It Serves You Right to Suffer (5x09)

The other day I was talking to my friend who watches this show, and he asked me where the A-plot was in this season. I sat there and I thought about it, and then I realized that if anything is an A-plot, it's the philosophical divide between Sherlock and Joan, and how it subtly affects their partnership. It's not big or showy, but it's undeniably interesting, at least to this viewer. However, that doesn't mean this episode or this season have been flawless. Far from. Let's discuss!

Cons:

This episode was, for the most part, solid due to the chemistry and charisma of the actors playing our two leads. Nelsan Ellis as Shinwell is also doing a fantastic job. However, even the stellar acting is not quite enough to cover up a fairly predictable plot. The bad guy was beyond obvious, especially since the promo told us there was going to be a corrupt agent involved, and we already saw the guy pull a gun on Shinwell in an earlier episode. The fact that we're supposed to be shocked by this "twist" is beyond laughable, given how the episode plays out before that.

I also found the ending just a tad bewildering. Essentially, Sherlock decides to help Shinwell out by wiping the prints on a gun that would have sent him back to jail. That's interesting, and I might have even put it in the "pros" section were it not for the fact that I don't understand where Sherlock is coming from with all of this. For most of the episode, Sherlock behaves like a man who is above the entire situation. He's really only stepping in out of respect for Joan's personal investment. And yet he's willing to break laws to help Shinwell? Because of a one minute conversation with Bell about how easy it is to break bad when put back into jail? It felt a little rushed, and that's disappointing coming off of a very nuanced performance form Johnny Lee Miller through the bulk of the episode.

The Walking Dead: Hearts Still Beating (7x08)

I've been saying it all season: this show has a pacing problem. Hell, this show has had a pacing problem practically since the first season, but it's only recently that it's been irritating to me. That being said, this episode on its own did have quite a few lovely things going for it, and I definitely want to make sure to talk about those things, too.

Cons:

The plot follows pretty much the entire ensemble again. We see Daryl escape (yay!), we see Richard from the Kingdom try and convince Caorl and Morgan that they need to strike against the Saviors (yeah, good luck with that), we see Maggie solidifying an unofficial sort of leadership at Hilltop, we see Rick and Aaron continue their treacherous supply run, we see Michonne go on a drive and see that Negan has a lot of men, and we see Negan wreaking havoc at Alexandria. Surprisingly, the episode didn't feel crowded, even with all of this material in it. I do have some problems with it though...

First of all, in subplot news, I was annoyed that Carol and Morgan felt so shoe-horned and separate. Why bother to even show the Kingdom if there's no resolution or forward motion? We didn't even get to see the glorious CGI tiger. Then there's Michonne: she drives in a car, sees that Negan is really powerful, and then comes back, teaching us absolutely nothing about her as a character, or about the bad guys either. Talk about pointless. And what about Rick and Aaron? Aaron almost gets killed in a lake full of Walkers, but he survives. Rick and Aaron find supplies, and take them back to Alexandria. This felt a bit like a plot cul de sac. I didn't feel a lot of tension for Aaron, since I doubted they'd kill him, and even if they had, he'd be a cop-out kill. It felt like a red herring. Uh oh, will Aaron be the one to die in this episode? Nope. We've got some other equally uninteresting deaths to attend to.

The Vampire Diaries: The Next Time I Hurt Somebody, It Could Be You (8x07)

You know what's weird? I should really hate this development. I should, and I know it. And I... kind of do? I mean it's certainly repetitive, and it's certainly predictable. But for some reason, I'm actually still invested? I don't know why.

Cons:

It was of course insultingly obvious that Damon wasn't going to stay dead, but apparently his death was such a non-issue that they don't have to show his resurrection on screen; he can just come prancing in to the Salvatore house with Sybil, ready for a Christmas dinner. So. That's annoying.

Also, Christmas dinner? Really? Stefan tells Caroline that he wants to spend his final day with her by hosting a party with all of their friends. Seems weird. And like a really flimsy excuse to have another "event" based episode, which this show loves to do. It used to be a cool way for a midseason or finale episode. We could have school dances, town events, etc. etc. and things could be dramatic and suspenseful and all the characters could be together. This dinner party was just lame. It starts with Damon luring Stefan upstairs and killing him so that he can spend some time with Cade, their new boss. Okay... that's bound to shake things up, right? Nope! Caroline and everybody else just continue to sit around, drink egg nog, and pretend to be civil.

Supernatural: LOTUS (12x08)

I'm not... unhappy with this episode, but there were a lot of details that were a bit bewildering to me.

Cons:

So, the basic plot is that Lucifer has now possessed the President of the United States, a man named Jefferson Rooney. With help from Cas, Crowley, Rowena, and Mr. Ketch from the British MOL, Sam and Dean manage to come up with a plan to get to the president through his secret girlfriend Kelly. Using a MOL McGuffin, Sam expels Lucifer from the president's body, and Rowena uses her witchy powers to banish him back to Hell. Ta da!!!

So, some issues straight up: The British MOL have been useless all season, and then Mr. Ketch, who they were building up as this really intimidating assassin dude, shows up with a grenade launcher, hands them a magic object, and then just leaves. Pretty weak payoff, I must say. I'm not totally giving up on the MOL becoming interesting, but so far I've been a tad disappointed. Also, this show has a McGuffin problem. I hate it when magical objects conveniently show up and save the day. At least make the characters work for it, like with Colt back in earlier seasons!

The president's secret girlfriend, Kelly, was a perfectly fine character, until the very end. See, the group explains to her that her boyfriend is now Lucifer. Kelly is horrified, confused, and also... did I mention... pregnant? With the devil's child? Oh, great. Sam expels Lucifer from Jeff's body, and then Kelly runs off, escaping Cas' protection and then calling him to tell him she won't be getting rid of the child. This makes very little sense, considering that just hours beforehand, Kelly definitely saw her boyfriend's eyes flash the devil's red. She saw the whole exorcism go down, so she definitely understands that she's carrying Satan's spawn. This feels like a cheap way to give our leads something to chase down for the rest of the season.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: The Laws of Inferno Dynamics (4x08)

An interesting mid-season finale, in that it seems to be really wrapping up everything we've been doing thus far in the season. Next year it looks like we're jumping back in with something completely different. And... I like that! Let's take a look.

Cons:

Mack and Yo-Yo finally get their act together and share a smooch, which is long overdue. I guess the thing that's annoying me is that Mack didn't really explain his hot-and-cold behavior with her very well. He was being all weird and protective, which is crazy since Elena's the one with superpowers. It's a small quibble, but I wanted to feel happier about this resolution. Instead, it felt frustrating coming at the end of so much back-and-forth.

Pros:

The main plot can be stated very simply: Daisy, Robbie, and Yo-Yo go in to try and take out Eli Morrow, and... they succeed. Robbie goes up in flames along with his evil uncle, thanks to assists from the Inhumans Daisy and Elena, but also thanks to scientific assists from Fitz, Simmons, and Aida. Coulson and Mack round out the team, and victory is won, with a heavy price.

I'm not going to talk too much about this, but suffice it to say that the action was awesome, especially the stuff with Yo-Yo. I also liked the tragedy here with Eli's downfall. Even as Robbie is determined to get his revenge, he continually calls him "tío" and tries to talk to him about what happened. That made for a very sad conclusion. I also really appreciate the fact that they've left the door open for Robbie's return. This could have been the end of his story, but it certainly doesn't have to be. I hope we see him again. This actor had a great presence and he really added a lot to the show.

The Walking Dead: Sing Me a Song (7x07)

Okay. Okay, so... I have some thoughts. I'm going to try and proceed with some semblance of coherence, but it's difficult to talk about what exactly is annoying me so much with this episode.

Cons:

A character like Negan only works in moderation. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is hamming it up to perfection, but using him too much instantly makes him less threatening. There were one or two legitimately intimidating moments in this episode with Negan, but every other time he was on screen, I wasn't at all freaked out by him, and that's a problem. With all the Negan stuff, we also got a rehash of Negan's compound. We saw the same stuff play out. Dwight is subservient, but he and his former wife Shelly are still drawn to each other. Negan is creepy towards women. He tortures people, but they respect him. Daryl gets abused. Negan makes speeches. This might have been an effective episode to introduce Negan's whole situation, but we already did that back in the Daryl-centric episode! I don't need to see this stuff twice!

Also, holy sexual assault, Batman. Trigger warnings up the wazoo. I mean, you don't actually see Negan touch any of these women other than one super creepy kiss with Shelly. But we do walk in and see his harem, and he keeps them all well-groomed and wearing slinky black dresses, and it's just... deeply disturbing. Now, I know what you're going to say: it's supposed to be deeply disturbing. And, sure, I'll agree with that. But I always get very suspicious and perturbed when shows use sexual assault or rape as a shortcut to showing how despicable somebody is. Like, we get it. You don't really have to fall back on that. Women are sexually exploited enough on TV as it is.

Once Upon a Time: Wish You Were Here (6x10)

From a structural standpoint, this season has been sort of... off. But from an individual episode standpoint? I'm pretty happy!

Cons:

So. Structurally. What about all the other people from the Land of Untold Stories? Are we just done with them? Why have Aladdin and Jasmine interwoven into the story, just to send them off again? We're contending with like a bajillion subplots here, and now we're adding in an alternate reality to boot? It's messy and it's overcrowded.

But setting that aside, we should look at this episode for its individual merits. I only have one really big complaint, here, and that's that Aladdin was way underutilized as the genie. These characters are idiots! So, first, the Evil Queen gets hold of the lamp, and wishes for Emma to not be the Savior anymore, which sends Emma to the Enchanted Forest and an alternate reality where her parents defeated the Evil Queen and she was raised as a princess. No curse, no Savior. Okay, fine. But then Regina figures out that she can make a wish too, because she and the Evil Queen are the same person. What does she wish for? To be sent to wherever Emma is. Why couldn't she wish to bring Emma back to Storybrooke? That wouldn't be undoing a wish! She still wouldn't be the Savior, right? And then David gets the lamp, and wishes that the Evil Queen "get what she deserves" which is super vague and ends up doing nothing at first, but then later she gets turned into a snake and trapped in a cage. Weird.

The Vampire Diaries: Detoured On Some Random Backwoods Path to Hell (8x06)

Huh. I'm actually having trouble deciding what I thought of this episode. I guess I'll just write my thoughts out and see where they take me.

Cons:

Seline's plan, in kidnapping the twins, is apparently to offer them up to Cade in exchange for her and her sister Sybil. That way, Cade will still have two supernatural beings to be his servants on earth, and the two sirens can go free. Cool idea? I guess? But Seline seems totally incompetent here. She nearly gets caught several times in this episode, and seemed to have no real plan beyond getting the girls and taking off. Did she really think she was going to pull this off? (Hint: she doesn't).

Our heroes are obviously all frantic to find the girls. Alaric and Caroline take off while Matt and Stefan stay behind and... work with the police. Which actually does prove to be effective, as an Amber Alert goes out, and blockades are set up. But then Seline just sings her horribly pitchy siren tune and everybody lets them go by. I guess the annoying part here is that these characters don't generally turn to law enforcement, and it felt sort of awkward to bring people in here who are not in the know, supernaturally speaking.

Supernatural: Rock Never Dies (12x07)

Aw, man. I really, really wanted to like this episode. It had such promise. Our guys all together, fighting off Lucifer, some comedy with the '80's rock cliches... but what I got was kind of a snooze-fest. I just wasn't impressed with most of this episode.

Cons:

So, the story is that Lucifer returns from where he was banished to the ocean, and drinks in the glory of being adored as Vince Vicente. He makes one of his die-hard stalker fans cut herself to prove her devotion, and plans on hosting a reunion concert with his band so he can trap a bunch of people in a concert hall and kill them all. Crowley, Cas, Sam, and Dean all go to LA to try and head him off. They succeed in rescuing the crowd, but Lucifer flees Vince's breaking body and escapes their grasp.

A basic plot, which would be fine if I felt like it was going somewhere. The thesis of this episode, if you will, is that Lucifer has no plan. He's just chaotic evil, now. Wasn't that kind of Amara's thing? She just messed with the world because it was there to mess with? Sam contends that Lucifer not having a plan is scarier than Lucifer with a motive, but I just don't see it. He's simply not threatening. I never got the sense that any of our characters were in actual danger, here. With Mark Pelligrino, Misha Collins, or even Jared Padalecki playing Lucifer, I knew that shit could get very real very fast. But in this episode, Rick Springfield's Lucifer barely even dented Cas and Crowley. I mean, sure, Crowley got pretty bloodied up, but why didn't Lucifer just kill them all on the spot? Or at least kill Crowley and Cas, and maybe Dean? I could understand Lucifer's fascination with Sam stopping him from just snapping his fingers and having done with it, but that doesn't mean he has to be such a wimp!

The Big Bang Theory: The Property Division Collision (10x10)

Hey, I actually thought this one was fairly cute. Elements that have tended to annoy me in the past actually got better, and there was an actual big step being made by a couple of the characters.

Cons:

I do wish some of these ideas could be pushed further, though. Some of this stuff felt repetitive. Raj and Stuart are fighting over who gets to be the third wheel with Bernadette and Howard. It's decently entertaining, actually, and has a good emotional payoff, but it feels like retreading the same old ground. I want to see Raj with his new love interest, or see Stuart find some meaning in his life outside of his sad-sack ways. Instead, we got a whole subplot to remind us that the writers often don't really know what to do with these characters to make them distinct individuals.

Pros:

That being said, there were a lot of really funny lines with this setup. Howard and Bernadette selfishly take full advantage of Stuart and Raj fighting over who gets to help more. I also loved Raj's line to Stuart: "this pregnancy had an emotionally needy third wheel long before you came along!" Stuart asks why there can't be four wheels, and Raj is angry with him for making such a good point. And like I said, this plot thread actually had an emotionally satisfying payoff. Bernadette goes into labor, and Raj and Stuart instantly put their squabbling aside and spring in to action. They're all part of Team Baby, after all.

Modern Family: The Alliance (8x08)

This was probably my favorite episode of the season thus far. Modern Family works well when it has some heart to back up its comedy, but it also works well when it has a tight concept and it mines that concept for all of its comedic possibilities. This episode did that perfectly.

Cons:

The centralizing plot in this episode thankfully took up almost all of the time, but there were a few subplots hovering around as well. These subplots weren't horrible, but they were pretty bland, and just took time away from the better ideas going on elsewhere. In one, Haley meets Rainer's teenage daughter, who is disdainful of her father's latest fling. In the end, Haley finds her inner mom and disciplines the girl for wanting to go out to a party dressed provocatively. In another subplot, Jay is upset that the club has banned smoking cigars in the main building, and he tries to get people to sign his petition complaining about the ban. He unwittingly uses Luke as bait to get an older woman to sign the petition, making Luke massage this cougar and ignoring the uncomfortable fact that Luke is being forced to work at this woman's house shirtless. Finally, in another subplot Claire is still having trouble making decisions at her job without relying on her father's expertise. She wants to get out of his shadow. This plot thread doesn't really go anywhere, although Claire does decide to make a decision on her own after Jay tells her to trust her gut.

So... nothing terrible here, and there was even some fun potential with Haley trying to act like a mom to a girl pretty much identical to how she was as a teenager. But none of these stories really went anywhere. In fact, Jay's cigar thing just sort of tapered off at the end with no resolution at all. Claire's story was just a rehash of things we've seen a thousand times, which was a tad frustrating.